Can't Be Right
by Random Person who Likes Combs
Summary: It felt right. It did, every moment here, stuck in the safe confines of their shared body's conscious, it felt so right. Every time they fell apart at the sight of each other and gave in to their desire, their minds screamed for them to stop, but the broken breaths and aching bodies begged for them to continue. But Kaneki knew it wasn't X Kanekicest! Yaoi in next ch! Shironeki!


It wasn't right, not in the slightest. It wasn't right, and It couldn't be dignified. But why, why did something so entirely wrong feel like it completed the world? Why did something so… wrong… feel so….

Right?

"Kaneki…"

Warm breath ghosted down his chest, kisses peppered across his smooth and fair skin. White hair tickled the soft bare flesh, bleached further by the cold glare of the moon that shone through the glass window above them.

The sheets under his back were silk and smooth, damp from sweat and slow passion, and Kaneki was drowning in the heavy guilty emotion that lingered in the air. He was trying to forget everything that was happening, trying to deny the truths that he hated to hear, but it wasn't working this time. His hypersensitive body picked up on every kiss, every touch, every breath, and his hypersensitive mind screamed with each one that this was wrong. This was so wrong, and this couldn't ever be right.

Kaneki was trying to process everything, but his mind was too busy whirling and flying about in his hollow skull, and he had trouble even remembering how to breathe. His breath left his mouth in soft series of whimpers and gasps, as warm and calloused hands trailed up his sides.

"Sh-Shiro—This isn't—"

This wasn't right. There was nothing in Kaneki's mind that was telling him that this was okay. There was nothing in his mind that was telling him they should continue. But his body wouldn't obey. Rather than cringe at the smooth caresses and soft, adoring kisses, Kaneki accepted them wholly and entirely.

"Shh… Kaneki. Don't talk." A brush of lips against his temple told him that no words needed to be spoken, that the heavy emotion rolling through the air, propelled by their heated breaths, spoke loud enough. But it wasn't speaking the words that clawed their way up from Kaneki's chest, leaving nothing but burning guilt and regret in their wake.

No, this wasn't right. It was impossible for something like this to be right. But the way Shiro's hands ran up his chest, the way his lips traced delicate patterns along his neck, the way that white hair brushed against his exposed skin-

It felt right. It did, every moment here, stuck in the safe confines of their shared body's conscious, it felt so right. Every time they fell apart at the sight of each other and gave in to their desire, their minds screamed for them to stop, but the broken breaths and aching bodies begged for them to continue.

But Kaneki knew it wasn't

"Shiro-!"

Kaneki sat up, his dark hair falling down over his face as the slow, warm, and passionate moment was shattered like a piece of fine glass cast from the guaranteed safety of the kitchen shelves.

Shiro sat up as well, white hair messy, sticking up all over as it usually did. The sight made Kaneki's heart glow, which in turn, made his stomach ache with confusion and self-hatred.

"Shiro… W-We…"

The dark haired boy wrapped his arms around his bare chest, his still clothed legs curling up as he tried to make himself as small as possible. He didn't want this, he didn't want to feel this way. He didn't want to be stuck in a world full of confusion, a world where all he did was wait for himself, _his own self_, to lose the scraps of remaining sanity, and run back to the safe world hidden away in the fragments of his broken mind.

Because, really, that's who Shiro was.

Shiro was himself.

_No, No, This isn't right. This can't be right. This won't ever be right._

"… Kaneki?"

Shiro reached out, gently cupping the dark haired boy's cheek, letting his thumb gently trace the line of the other's jaw.

"Talk to me." The words were straightforward, blunt, but at the same time, Kaneki could see the worry and confusion in those familiar eyes. Those too familiar eyes. The eyes he saw every time he passed his own reflection.

_This isn't right. This can't be right. Why did I ever think it could be right?_

Kaneki flinched at the touch, as if it burned. As if it hurt, and Shiro instinctively yanked his hand away.

But it wasn't the touch that burned, it was the feeling he got from it. It was the warmth that pooled in his heart and in his belly, the dizzy that settled in his brain and the ache for more in his chest. Kaneki knew what the feeling was, and it terrified him. He knew that ever since the first time, it was all a mistake. The first time, they could pretend that it was a moment of weakness, that they didn't know what they were doing. But there was a second time, a third time, a fourth, a fifth—

They both knew what it was. And they both knew that Kaneki would refuse to admit it.

Kaneki knew that look in his eye. The soft glow, the warmth of affection in the other's features—He knew that Shiro had admitted it, accepted it, and adored it. But Kaneki wasn't sure if he ever could. It wasn't right, this isn't right, this shouldn't feel right.

"Shiro, we can't. We can't do this. We have to stop—This… This… This can't be. Its gross, its strange, its confusing-

It isn't right."

Kaneki almost regretted his words, because he saw they way they smacked Shiro across the face, like a backhand delivered to a disobedient child. He saw the way it wiped those warm feelings away from those sharp features. But what was even worse, were those too familiar eyes.

Shiro seemed to be a bit dazed, his eyes hollow and glassy as his whirling mind tried to understand. Tried to understand why the terrible words had been spoken.

The tension in the air was thick, nothing disturbing the air but the sounds of heavy breathing and a shattering heart.

"… You never… You've never liked…?" Shiro's voice had a strange tone to it, a sort of disbelief and hollow pain, and he left the sentence open. Not that it needed to be completed.

Kaneki felt his heart ache at the sound. A voice that used to be full of quiet thought and warm affection was now replaced with this cold shell. As if the life inside had been hollowed out with a great spoon.

Kaneki wanted to take him in his arms and kiss him, tell him it was a lie, a stupid, thoughtless lie. He wanted to be with him, he wanted to make it work, he wanted to make it exist in reality, he wanted to whisper the three most forbidden words over dampened pillows that, in the end, didn't exist in the simple world of the broken mind of the body they shared.

Their meetings were few and far between. Kaneki was stuck away, hidden inside the new ghoul that had been born in himself. Shiro had been the replacement, the beautiful white hair and black nails, the cruel laughter and the rigid temper—And Kaneki's heart and soul was left to rot away in the confines of his shattered mind, his mind that had been broken from a night full of missing limbs, centipedes, and One Thousand Minus Seven.

They were two people. They were two people, who lived inside one. And when the world became to much for this single body to bare, when it blacked out to the rest of the world around them, Shiro and Kaneki had precious hours to be together.

Which is why it wasn't right. Why it could never be right. They were different, but the same. Two people, one body. Between them, the passionate emotion of love itself couldn't be shared. It wasn't right, it couldn't be right.

Kaneki didn't always love him, but Shiro became the color in his simple world of black and white memories and remnants of a long lost peaceful world.

"I… I…." Kaneki felt the humiliation of tears burn behind squeezed-shut eyelids.

"I can't do it, Shiro. We're the same person—It… It isn't right."

The white haired boy reached over and brushed back the other's dark hair. An action of the forbidden affection that Kaneki craved so dearly.

"Kaneki."

His name, spoke, whispered, breathed, with only the moonlight as their witness.

"Kaneki, we aren't the same person."

The strange statement brought ringing to his ears.

"Maybe in the real world, Kaneki, we share a body. But here, in our world, in this place we share, we don't. Kaneki, this broken place is a blessing. This insanity, this lost consciousness, it's the only chance I have to be with you."

The words were tumbling past Shiro's lips, there, in the small room of their shared body's broken mind, with the moon and the stars bleaching the world to nothing but light and shadows.

"We're both half ghoul. But my ghoul is on the inside, Kaneki. For you, your human is on the inside. Kaneki, We aren't the same. Kaneki, don't tell yourself this is wrong, don't tell yourself that this can't be…" 

Kaneki listened, feeling the wet tears drip down his cheeks, past his slightly parted lips, roll down his chin.

"Kaneki, you can't tell yourself that this isn't love anymore."

It was Kaneki's turn to be struck by the force of the truth that couldn't be denied. Shiro was closer now, his hands finding his way around the other's waist.

"I know you're afraid, Kaneki. I know you may think this isn't right, but in the world we live in, Kaneki, who else do we have? Who else will love you as much as I do?"

Soft lips were kissing away the salty tears of shame streaked across the dark haired boy's face. Warm hands cradled his face, warm breath ghosting over his skin.

"Kaneki. I know you were so afraid of hearing me say this, but I won't deny it any more. Kaneki…"

The air was thick again, waiting to be shattered by the quiet threat of words he already knew he was going to hear.

"Kaneki, I love you."

Silence. Filled with nothing but heavy breaths, but this time, the beating of a hopeful heart.

"Kaneki, do you love me?"

He didn't want to admit it, but here it was, being thrust before him. It was the question he had been avoiding, and it was the question he wished he could continue to avoid. He never wanted to answer, because giving an answer meant he had an answer, and having an answer meant admitting the very truth he felt was wrong.

But if what Shiro spoke was true, if they were just two lost souls confined to the boundaries of one body, of one mind, then why would anything they did together be wrong? Why would anything they felt be wrong? Why would it, that forbidden passion, the unspoken word, why wouldn't it be just as right as if it were in the real world.

Shiro's forehead rested against his own, the soft white hair brushing against his face.

"We don't have to worry about anyone else here. It's just us. You, me—we. Nobody to know, nobody to judge, nobody to hold this over our heads. So please, Kaneki, I just want to know—do you love me?

The swelling feeling of warm forcing its way up his throat, into his chest, into his stomach, it was too much, it was almost uncomfortable how much affection was flooding Kaneki's small frame. He wasn't sure he would be able to speak even if he wanted to.

But before he could speak, a soft pair of familiar lips were pressed to his again, breaking away to trail along his jaw, down the soft skin of his neck.

Words didn't need to be spoken. Kaneki's body relaxed, his hand squeezed Shiro's and he leaned back, his body greeted by the embrace of damp sheets and pillows, and Shiro fell with him.

No, words didn't need to be spoken here, in this place with only the moon and stars to witness the two souls of a single body, really become one.

XXXX

Lol this is trash, I don't even know what this is, really. I'm sorry that you had to read this lol.

*Crumples this up and throws it away*

Anywhore, my first Tokyo Ghoul fanfiction! Whoo! Im considering writing a lemony chapter two to this—Fluffy lemon, of course.

Does anyone else ship this? Please, Tell me you do. Please? Someone? I'm begging you. Just- *sob*  
Also, you know the drill. I am a total whore for reviews. Reading them inspires me to write more, so please, more reviews= more posts!

Alright! Love you guys!


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